


The Longest Con

by Titch360



Series: My Version of Events [59]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 12:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titch360/pseuds/Titch360
Summary: Secrets are meant to be kept, until they are meant to be shared.  What will happen with the biggest secret of all?





	The Longest Con

The Longest Con

 

A massive gasp filled the restaurant as Dick dropped to a knee and asked Barbara a question that he had asked her twice before.  Everyone knew it was coming; it had been expected for a very long time.  Even with the question being a foregone conclusion, it still took the entire dining party, and several tables around the group, completely by surprise.

It wasn’t exactly a standard proposal, but Dick Grayson liked doing things differently.  Dick dropped to a knee and pulled a ring box from his pocket.  Dick had been carrying the ring with him everywhere he went for a month now, waiting for the right time.  He even had it with him when he wasn’t planning on seeing Barbara.  He wouldn’t realize what a risk that was for another week, when he discussed the proposal with Barbara.

Dick sank to a knee as his smile grew.  As Dick lowered himself, Barbara’s hands rose.  Her eyes widened and her hands covered her mouth in shock.  As Dick kneeled, the rest of the dining party, which included Bruce, Damian, Jim, and Barbara ( _sorry to interrupt, but an important note: in some continuities, Barbara’s mother is also named Barbara.  There are two Barbara’s in this story.  The one mentioned in the last sentence is Barbara the mother.  Confusing, I know.  Sorry.  Now back to our regularly scheduled story_ ), rose from their seats in shock.  All four observers were thinking, _this is happening.  Is this really happening?  It’s about time Dick popped the question._

A tear leaked from Barbara’s left eye as she said, “Oh, Dick.  Yes.  Yes, I will!”

Dick’s smile grew, “Can I at least ask you first?”

If possible, Barbara’s cheeks blushed even darker and she nodded.

Dick arched an eyebrow, staring at her hands, “Think I can have one of those?”

Barbara lowered a shaky hand, and Dick took it with both of his, “I’ve loved you ever since the first time I set eyes on you.  Through good times and bad, that has never changed.  There is so much I want to do with my life, and as I do all of it, I want you by my side.  Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?”

Barbara was nodding as tears of joy streaked down her face.  “Yes,” she said in a squeak, the only voice she could manage in the moment.

When Dick released Barbara’s hand, an absolute rock of an engagement ring had been left on her finger.  Barbara nearly dove out of her chair at Dick, who caught her and held her tightly.  Scattered applause rose from the surrounding tables as Bruce walked up to Dick and Jim kneeled next to Barbara.

“It’s about time, Chum,” Bruce said, “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Dick said, giving the man a tight hug.

“I’m so happy for you, honey,” Barbara said to her daughter.

Barbara laughed delightedly at her mother, “Thanks, Mom.”

“Are you sure you’re ready,” Jim asked.

Barbara looked up, “Don’t you think a nearly twenty-year courtship is long enough, Daddy?  I’ve been ready for this for a long time.”

Two waiters appeared at the table with desserts, “On the house, to celebrate the happy couple.”

Bruce nodded, “Thank you.  Everyone, shall we?”

As the rest of the group took their seats again and accepted the congratulations of various other groups of diners around the table, Dick walked over to Damian, who was still standing and looking vaguely upset.

Dick placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder and asked quietly, “Are you okay, Little D?”

Damian nodded.

Dick gave a warm smile, “I know, it’s a lot to take in.  Remember, you’re not losing a brother.”

“I know,” Damian said softly, “It’s just, I…I didn’t.”

“You didn’t what,” Dick asked.

Damian glanced up nervously, “You told me you were going to do this eventually, and asked me for one thing.  You asked me to record the proposal if I was with you when you did it.  You caught us all off-guard tonight.  I…I was too shocked to record it.  I’m sorry, Dick.”

Dick’s smile grew as he directed Damian back towards the table, “Is that all?  I don’t care about that.  I thought you were upset, or something.”

“Just at myself,” Damian mumbled.

“Well, I’m not upset at you,” Dick said, “Come on, don’t you have someone else to say something to right now?”

Damian glanced at the table to see furtive glances coming in his direction.  Damian sighed before approaching Barbara.  Damian did his best to crouch down to Barbara’s level.  His knee was fine, but to sell the fact that he wasn’t Robin to Commissioner Gordon, Damian had to fake a limp and continue to use his cane around the man.  Another month or two and he could go back to walking normally around Jim Gordon.

Damian leaned his mouth close to Barbara’s ear as he hugged the woman.  “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into,” Damian asked softly.

Barbara smiled at Dick, then said softly, “I’ve known him longer than you’ve been alive.  I think I can handle Dick with no problem.”

Damian grinned, “It won’t come to this, but if he ever isn’t good to you, you let me know.  I’ll straighten him out for you.”

Barbara leaned back and stared at Damian in astonishment, “I thought Gina was your favorite sister?”

Damian took his seat again and said, “This can never get back to my girlfriend, but Gina isn’t my favorite sister.  You are.  Have been for a while.  It’s close, but I think you are a little higher in my estimations.”

“A toast,” Jim said, raising his glass, “To the happy couple, and a new family.”

_Later…_

Bruce sat at a red light after pulling out of the restaurant parking lot.  Dick and Barbara were in their own car, as they were headed back to Barbara’s apartment, and Jim and Barbara were headed back to their own home, in the opposite direction.

Bruce reached across the center console and patted Damian’s hand, “You doing okay?  You’re awfully quiet over there.”

“Just thinking, Father,” Damian said quietly.

Bruce glanced over before pulling away from the light.  The convertible Ferrari’s engine screamed as Bruce pushed it through first and second gear, hoping to bring a smile to his child’s face.  Damian’s pensive look didn’t change.

_Hmm.  That used to always cheer Dick up.  Maybe Dick is the problem, this time._

“Heck of a dinner, huh?”

“The ravioli was excellent,” Damian said, “the sauce was a little intrusive, though.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, “How about the entertainment?”

Damian took a deep breath, telling Bruce exactly what was bothering the teen without him uttering a word.  “I messed up tonight.”

“Care to explain,” Bruce asked.

Damian glanced over, “Last month, Dick told me he was going to propose to Barbara the next chance he got.”

“You knew,” Bruce asked in shock.

Damian shook his head, “Not an exact date or time, just that it was coming soon.  He told me, Jason, and Tim, because he wanted one of us to record the proposal when it happened.  I missed the signs he was giving off, and was too shocked to remember that I was supposed to be taping it, until she already said yes.”

“Damian, it’s okay,” Bruce said.

“That’s what Dick said, too,” Damian said, “I wanted to get this right, though.  For Dick”

Bruce took a breath, “It’s okay, Damian.  He didn’t give anyone notice.  If he was giving off signs, none of us caught them.”

Damian looked thoughtful, “Maybe I can hack into the restaurant’s security system and find a surveillance video of the proposal.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, “Probably not a good idea, son.  Other than that, what do you think?”

“Barbara Grayson,” Damian said, “Sounds good, right?  I’ve been waiting for this for years.  I’m happy, Father.”

“Me too,” Bruce said.

“And concerned,” Damian continued.

“About what?”

“The Commissioner-in-law.  What did you and Dick decide about that little situation?”

“We still have to work on that,” Bruce said.

“Can we hurry up and decide something,” Damian asked, “I like my cane, but I’m sick of using it.”

“I hate seeing you using a cane,” Bruce said, “You’re my fifteen-year-old son, you shouldn’t be stuck with a cane.”

“I only use it for show now, Father.  You know that.  You wouldn’t have let me back on patrol if I actually needed it”

“Your gait is still off a little bit,” Bruce pointed out.

Damian sighed, “Maybe I just need a little more time to get used to this knee.  The doctor said this one is heavier duty than my old knee.  I don’t know if it is actually stiffer than the last one, but it seems like it takes more muscle to move this knee.”

Bruce thought for a second, “That would explain it.  I noticed you don’t kick as much as you used to.  Is that from the knee, too?”

Damian nodded, “It’ll get better.  So, what are we going to do about our nightly activities?”

Bruce thought as he turned into the manor’s driveway, “I have an idea; I just don’t know how much you’re going to like it.”

“What’s wrong with just telling the Commissioner the truth,” Damian asked, “With as unknowingly complicit as he’s been in our actions, he can’t exactly expose us without exposing himself.”

“We’ll tell him,” Bruce said, “but it’s going to take some time and strategy to figure out how and when to do it.”

_The Following Day…or, Night…_

Following dinner, and a leisurely call to Robin, informing her of Dick’s engagement, Damian ambled into the cave to get ready for patrol.  Damian was a bit surprised to find Batman, fully dressed and leaning over the Bat Computer.

Without looking over, Batman growled out, “Get dressed, we got a call.  We leave in five minutes.”

Damian rolled his eyes and shook his head while staring at the ceiling, “Todd, what do you think you’re doing?  You know Father doesn’t like it when you try to impersonate him.”

From his left, in the shadows, Dick’s voice sounded, “I told you, Bruce.  Thirty-five feet away, and not even a full-on view.  If he couldn’t fool Damian from that far away, he’ll never fool the Commissioner when he’s right next to him.”

Jason pulled the cowl off and looked at Damian with a grimace, “How did you know?”

“Your voice isn’t deep enough, and Father never hunches over like you were when he’s Batman.”

Dick shrugged as he walked up behind Damian and grabbed the teen’s shoulders, “I don’t know, I thought his voice was pretty good.”

“It was passable,” Damian said, “but just a bit off.”

“I’d like to see you do better, Squirt,” Jason said.

Damian cleared his throat, then spoke in a nearly-flawless Batman tone, one that even fooled Bruce, “Okay, Todd.  Once again, you’ve proven how woefully ineffective you are at this.”

Bruce stared down at his son, then said, “Maybe we can set up a speaker system in the suit, and Damian can speak for you.”

Damian rubbed at his throat and said, “No, thank you.  That hurts my throat.”

“You’ve done that before,” Bruce asked suspiciously.

“A few times,” Damian said with a smirk.

“To what end,” Bruce asked.

Damian smirked as he walked over to Jason.  Pulling the communicator out of the utility belt, Damian switched back to his Batman impersonation and spoke into the microphone, “Batmobile, engine start.  Open canopy.”

The adults in the cave were astonished when the Batmobile sprang to life.  Damian then said, “Batmobile, close canopy and stop engine.”

He turned to his father and smirked, “That voice recognition system you installed on your secrets down here is no match for League of Assassins-level mimicry training.”

“That is impressive,” Dick said, “but why can’t you just talk for Batman when he talks to the Commissioner?”

Damian sighed, “Because the problem isn’t replacing Batman; it never has been.  Yes, I’m sure Jason could impersonate Batman convincingly enough to fool Commissioner Gordon.  Hell, you pulled it off for months, Dick.  The problem is replacing me.  Gordon started getting really suspicious after seeing my injuries two months ago, and when he started putting together that he had seen similar injuries on Robin.  We can’t even use the ‘I’m out of town’ excuse anymore.  You told him in the past, Father, that Robin has a girlfriend who lives out of town.  Now, he’s seen, and been told by you, Dick, that Damian Wayne also has a girlfriend who lives out of town.

“I did say that,” Bruce said, thinking back.

“So did I,” Dick said, wincing.

Damian continued, “Not only that, but he saw Damian’s girlfriend wearing a Robin-printed sweatshirt.  So, you see, our problem isn’t going to be having Bruce Wayne and Batman in two different places at the same time, it’s having Damian Wayne and Robin in two different places at the same time.”

Bruce, Dick, and Jason all looked at each other, knowing that the teen was right.  Jason finally turned back to Damian and said, “Don’t you think you’re getting a little conceited here?  We’re doing all of this for Dick, not you.  The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

Damian smiled and snorted a laugh, “It usually doesn’t, but this time, it does.  You’re just jealous that no one is trying to figure out Red Hood’s identity.”

Dick shook his head, “What are we going to do, then?”

“Can I suggest a novel idea,” Damian asked.

“No,” Dick said, shaking his head, “We can’t tell him.  Not yet.”

“Why not,” Damian asked.

“Barbara said no,” Dick said, “There is a whole lot more to the explanation than just you and Bruce.  Jim still doesn’t know that it was the Joker who shot and paralyzed Barbara.  He’s only ever been told that it was a home invasion, and Barbara couldn’t identify the criminal.”

Damian cocked his head and asked, “Why did she keep that a secret?”

“Because she was Batgirl at the time,” Bruce said, “and she doesn’t want that getting out.”

Dick sighed and looked back at Bruce, “There’s no other choice, Bruce.”

“Don’t say it,” the man said.

“We have to go with our one and only, last option,” Dick said, “We’re low on time and out of other choices.”

Bruce sighed heavily as the Batphone rang.  He picked it up and got the call for help.  A large drug shipment was just spotted at the docks, and Gordon needed help corralling all of the drug runners.

“Well, we won’t have time to worry about our final option tonight,” Bruce said.  “Jason, give me my suit back.  Damian, get dressed.  We’ve got some drug dealers to catch.”

_The Next Evening…_

Following dinner Saturday night, Damian laid on his bed, playing a handheld video game.  The teen was completely engrossed, and didn’t realize he wasn’t alone in his room.  The cough to clear a throat didn’t gain Damian’s attention, but the voice, from directly above Damian, did.

“Hey D!  What’cha playing?”

Damian, who was laying on his stomach on his bed, nearly jumped off of the bed in surprise.  He turned over with wide eyes and said, “Jon?  What are you doing here?”

Jon smiled down over his friend.  Jon wasn’t standing next to the bed and leaning over the older boy.  The half-Kryptonian was hovering over the bed, looking down the four-foot gap at his friend.  Jon was hovering that high over the bed because he knew his entrance would startle Damian.  Jon had planned it that way.  After climbing the stairs, Jon had floated into position in complete silence.  This distance was what Jon calculated as a safe distance from surprised punches and kicks.

Jon floated off to Damian’s side before letting himself fall to the bed.  Bouncing once on the mattress with a giggle, Jon said, “Dad brought me over.  He said we had some kind of mission, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was.”

Damian turned his head to look at Jon, “Mission?  I haven’t heard about any…oh, no.”

“What,” Jon asked.

Damian sighed, “This isn’t going to work.  Come on.”

Damian paused his game as Jon glanced over his shoulder.  “Is that a Switch,” the youth asked.

“Yeah,” Damian replied, “I got it for my birthday, a couple weeks ago.  You were at the dinner; don’t you remember?”

“I remember,” Jon said, “You didn’t open your presents at the party.”

Damian looked up in thought, “Oh, right.  Forgot about that.”

Jon stared enviously at the device, “I’d love one of those.  Mom and Dad won’t get me one, though.”

Damian glanced over, “Really?  Thanks, now I know what to get you for your birthday.  Let’s go.”

Damian rolled out of his bed and exited his bedroom, with Jon following.

“Hey, you’re limping again,” Jon said, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Damian said before sighing, “My last knee did this when it was new, too.  It doesn’t like cold weather.  It’ll be fine, once I’ve had the knee for a little longer.”

Damian opened the clock and the boys entered the cave.  Upon entering the main level, Damian’s fears were confirmed.  Bruce, Clark, Dick, and Alfred were gathered around the computer, in deep discussion.  Clark noticed the boys first.

“Oh, good.  There you are.”

Damian turned to Bruce and asked, “Father, is this what I think it is?”

Bruce looked down and said simply, “Yes.”

“I told you yesterday, Damian,” Dick said, “This is our only, last option.”

“No,” Damian said, “You said we had one last option.  You didn’t say _this_ was it.”

Clark smiled at Damian, “Believe it or not, I’ve actually doubled for Batman before.”

Damian hadn’t been aware of that.  Dick nodded, “That was back when I was Robin.  Worked out just fine.”

“And you think it’s going to work just fine now,” Damian asked.

“It can work,” Bruce said, “It’s just going to take some effort.”

“I think we can make this work,” Clark said, in a perfect Batman voice.

Damian looked up in surprise, “How did you do that?”

Clark smiled, “Kryptonian muscle control is far superior to human muscle control.”  Clark changed his voice again, this time sounding exactly like Damian, “With a little practice, we can fool anyone.”

Damian’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t do that again.  Your muscle control might be up to par, but how about Jon’s?”

“That’s why he’s here,” Bruce said, “You’re going to work with him.”

Dick took a step forward, “Damian, they aren’t taking your place on a permanent basis.  If everything works out, they will never be needed.  We just need them on call for a couple upcoming situations, until Barbara and I can figure out how to tell her father the truth.”

Damian shook his head, “This won’t work.  It’s too much to ask of Jon.”

“Why,” Bruce, Clark, and Jon all asked at once.

Explaining what he thought should have been obvious, Damian turned to Jon and said, “Jon, stop smiling.”

Jon blushed, and his smile grew, “Why?”

Damian sighed and looked at his father, “That’s his natural look.  It’s not one I ever use, on or off patrol.”

Figuring he needed to lay everything out, Damian sighed, then turned Jon’s head.  He placed his face next to Jon’s and touched the boy’s cheek, then his own.  “Notice anything different?  I might not have to shave every day, but I do look like I need to every so often.  Sorry Jon, but it is very easy to tell that you’ve never touched a razor in your life.  To establish him as me, I’d have to start shaving before going on patrol every night.”

“Maybe you will,” Bruce said, “These are all things we can overcome, Damian.  We just have to try.  We can get his voice closer to yours.  We can train him in your mannerisms.  Give me one thing we can’t overcome with this plan, Damian.”

Damian nodded, “Very well.  Jon, stand up straight.”

Jon did, and Damian walked around to stand directly behind the younger boy.  “See anything wrong?”

“No,” Clark said.

Damian held his sigh, “Can you see me?”

Dick snickered and said, “No.”

Damian walked into view again, “I noticed it at training last week.  Jon is growing again.  So am I, and that is the real problem.  I’m starting to grow out of my uniforms.”

“What,” Bruce exclaimed.

“Alfred said he would work on new ones for me,” Damian said, “but I’m pretty sure they aren’t ready yet.”

Alfred spoke up, “They are not ready yet, Master Damian.  I am still in the process of collecting materials.”

“How long before you can mock one up in Jon’s size,” Bruce asked.

Alfred shook his head, “I would be hard-pressed to get one ready before the party, sir.”

Damian nodded, “If I’m having trouble fitting into my uniforms, there is no way we can shove Jon into one of them.”

Bruce released a long breath, “I wish you’d told me about your uniforms earlier.  That could be a problem with this plan.”

Damian looked up at his father, “I told Alfred they were getting a little tight a month ago, Father.”

“These pieces are not easy to come by, sir,” Alfred said, “I can’t just place an order for hero pants on Amazon.”

Clark and Jon snickered a laugh as Bruce shook his head, “I suppose not.”

Alfred continued, “I can’t exactly cut corners and make a subpar uniform, either.  This will be one that Master Damian can use himself, once he grows into it.”

Damian blushed, then glared at Dick, who was hiding a laugh at the thought of his fifteen-year-old brother wearing his eleven-year-old friend’s hand-me-downs.

Bruce regarded the boys before saying, “Well, he’s not going to grow that much in two weeks.  Damian, take Jon to the locker room and see if you can get him in one of your uniforms.  Alfred, go with them.  Maybe you can work on some alterations to an existing uniform.”

Damian led Jon to the locker room.  On the way, Jon leaned over and asked, “Can you tell me what’s going on, now?”

Damian nodded, “Couple nights ago, Dick proposed to Barbara, and she said yes.”

Jon gasped, then turned around and called out, “Congratulations, Uncle Dick!”

Dick waved with a smile, and Jon turned around again.

Damian continued, “Now, until he can build up the guts to tell Barbara’s father what we do at night, we have to come up with a way for the Bats and the Wayne’s to be in two places at once.”

Jon looked confused, which Damian expected.  “Well, why?”

Damian stopped and looked Jon in the eye, “Because Barbara’s father is Commissioner James Gordon, the head of the Gotham Police Department.  He’s been pretty suspicious about our identities for years, but he came really close to uncovering us when I had my knee replaced, two months ago.”

The boys continued walking into the locker room.  “Why did that change things,” Jon asked.

Damian started pawing through his uniforms, looking for the largest set he had.  “My injury came while patrolling.  Commissioner Gordon saw Robin limping as we left the crime scene.  Then, two nights later, he saw Damian in the hospital with a knee injury.  He also saw Robin…uh, Robin, my girlfriend, not Robin, me…wearing a sweatshirt with a print of my uniform on it.”

Damian smirked and turned his head to look at Jon, “Is there Superboy merchandise yet?”

Jon shook his head, “I don’t think so.  You have your own merchandise?”

Damian’s smile grew, and he held up one of his tunics, “For Robin’s last birthday, her grandmother got her a sweatshirt that looks like my uniform.  It even has a green eye mask sewn into the hood.”

Jon nodded, then asked, “Wait, why did the Commissioner come to see you in the hospital?”

“He didn’t,” Damian said, “One of his officers was injured.  He came to visit the officer, and ran into us.  Unfortunately, I had some scratches to my face the night we took down Two Face, and they were still on my face when Commissioner Gordon visited us in the hospital.  That’s when he started getting curious.”

Jon looked like he was concentrating hard, “Okay, I get all of that.  Why do Dad and I have to impersonate you and your Dad?”

“Two weeks from tonight, we are throwing an engagement party for Dick and Barbara.  That means Gotham’s police commissioner, and the entire compliment of Gotham’s costumed vigilantes, will be spending the evening together, making small talk and pretending like we aren’t masked crime fighters.  In case there are any calls for caped assistance, there needs to be a Batman and a Robin available while Bruce and Damian are talking to Mr. Gordon.  What better way to conceal our identities from the police than for Batman and Robin to be seen anywhere in Gotham while the Commissioner is having dinner with Father and me?”

Damian sighed as he laid out the uniform on a bench, “Okay, that’s the biggest one I have.  Get undressed and see if you can fit into it.”

Jon looked nervously at Alfred, then Damian.  Damian said, “Jon, you’re only stripping down to your underwear.  How many times have you spent the night over here?  Alfred and I have both seen that.  Just get changed.  Alfred needs to see where he needs to make alterations.”

Jon looked down, “I know.  It’s just…”

Damian nodded, “It takes a while to get used to.  It’s okay.  Just take your time and try not to rip anything.”

“Okay,” Jon said as he pulled his shirt and pants off.

Damian picked up Jon’s pants and read the tag.  “Well, that should make things easier.”

“What will, Master Damian,” Alfred asked.

Damian looked up, “I don’t know if it is a blessing or an embarrassment, but we wear the same size pants.”

Jon slowly pulled the pants up, and a smile grew on his face, “Hey!  These are comfortable.  I should ask Dad about getting some of these for my uniform.”

“That was the easy part,” Damian said, “Try the shirt, carefully.”

Jon looked nervous as he pulled the shirt over his head.  He got his head and one arm in before his eyes widened.

Damian cringed and asked, “What?”

“I don’t think I can get it the rest of the way on.”

“It’s designed to be tight, Jon,” Damian said.

“It is also designed to stretch and flex a bit, Master Jonathan,” Alfred said.

Jon pulled his arm up, and his eyes instantly bulged, “I’m stuck!”

Damian smiled and walked over to the boy.  He reached up and pulled the shirt up and off of his friend.

Jon gave a relieved breath, “Thanks, Damian.  I didn’t want to rip it.”

Damian nodded, “Thank you for that.  Let’s try again.  Bend over and stick your arms out.”

Jon did as he was told, and Damian started fitting the garment over his friend.  Alfred gave a smile and said, “I don’t think that will work, Master Damian.”

“Why not,” Damian asked, then looked at Jon and blushed in embarrassment.  “Oh, right.”

“What,” Jon asked with mild concern in his voice.

Damian shook his head and took the shirt off of Jon’s arms, “Nothing.  I was just putting it on you backwards.”

Damian righted the shirt, then pulled it over Jon’s arms and head, “Okay, stand up.”

Jon did, and Damian yanked the shirt down.  He looked at his surprised friend and said, “Well, it’s on.”

“Can you breathe, Master Jonathan,” Alfred asked.

Jon took a deep breath while Damian held his.  Damian expected the seams to split, but they held.

“Yeah,” Jon said, “You said it’s supposed to be tight.  It’s tight.”

“Where is it tight,” Alfred asked, approaching the youth.

“Um, in the shoulders, and around the armpits.  Around my ribs, too.”

Alfred walked around Jon, poking and pulling at the shirt, “Lift your arms out to the side, please.”

Jon did, and Alfred took another lap around the boy, “I believe I can make a few alterations to this tunic that will make it usable for Master Jonathan, while not making it too loose for you, Master Damian.”

Damian nodded, “Let’s go for it.”

“Go for what,” Jon asked.

“The whole uniform,” Damian said, “Let me get a comb and my hair gel, and see if we can get your head closer to mine.”

“Comb and hair gel,” Jon asked.

Damian smirked as he led Jon to a sink and wet the boy’s hair, “There’s nothing wrong with looking good while fighting crime.”

Damian turned Jon so he couldn’t see himself in the mirror, “Wait until we get everything on, then look.  Alfred?”

The butler answered the call as Damian combed Jon’s hair, “Yes, Master Damian?”

“Jon’s going to need a haircut,” Damian said, “Just a trim should do it.”

“What,” Jon asked, surprised, “I don’t want a haircut.”

“It’ll make it more convincing,” Damian said, “Just a bit around your ears, and in the back.”

“But, why,” Jon complained.  “Won’t us having different hairstyles make it easier to believe that you aren’t Robin?”

“But I am Robin,” Damian said, “Don’t you think it will be noticeable if I have my hair one night, your hair the next night, then my hair again?”

“Why don’t you see what you can do with the hair gel before we call the barber, Master Damian,” Alfred said.

Damian applied a generous dollop of hair gel to Jon’s wild hair and started combing.  Figuring this would take a few minutes, Damian said, “The look is only one part of this.  You also have to sound like me.  You can do it; it’ll just take some practice.”

“How do I do it,” Jon asked nervously.

Damian thought for a second, “Fifty percent of mimicry is all in the mind.  You have to think about how I’m supposed to sound.  My voice is a little deeper than yours, so you have to think deeper.  Think about your vocal chords, and the muscles in your throat.  I know, you’ve probably never done that before, but just try.”

Jon looked a little confused, “Well, which you should I try to sound like?”

Damian stopped combing Jon’s hair and asked, “What do you mean?”

Jon looked uncomfortable as he said, “I’ve noticed that you sound…different, when you talk to different people.”

Damian hadn’t realized this.  Alfred had, and he was anxiously waiting to see how Damian reacted to this information.

“I do,” Damian asked, surprised.

Jon nodded slightly, “Yeah.  Like, when you talk to the League, your voice gets a bit deeper, and you sound like you’re trying to sound official.  When you’re with the team, and you’re teaching us stuff, I swear you sound just like my math teacher.  But, when it’s just the two of us talking, or the times I’ve heard you talking to Robin on the phone, you sound…nicer.  Your voice gets softer, kinder.”

Damian blushed at the honest explanation, and Jon broke eye contact first, “Sorry, it’s just…something I noticed.”

Damian went back to styling Jon’s hair, before the gel dried.  _I didn’t notice that before.  Huh, I guess I took the ‘Little Brother’ title seriously._   “Don’t apologize, Jon.  You just told me something I didn’t know.  You also told me something really nice.  Thank you.”

Damian took a step back and looked at Jon’s hair, “That’s kind of close, right, Alfred?”

“Very close, young sir,” the Butler said.

“So, which voice should I go for,” Jon asked.

Damian thought for a second, “How about something a little harsher than the math teacher.  Think about your first impression of me.  What comes to mind?”

Jon looked nervous again, “Are you sure you want me to say that out loud?”

Damian smiled, “Yes, I do.  List out those character traits.  Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say.  I’m asking you to do this, so it won’t bother me.  When you list those traits, think that you are me, and I’m listing them about myself.  Think of how I sound, and try to make yourself sound like me.  Don’t push it.  Just try to let it happen naturally.”

“O-okay,” Jon said.  He thought for a second, then said, “When we first met, I thought you were rude, impatient, stuck up, conceited, like you thought you were too good for us.  You brushed us off.  You thought of us as children.”

“Stop,” Damian said.  “You’re still thinking like you.  Think like me.  Alfred, can you grab a mask and a cape, please?”

“Right away, sir.”

The butler returned within seconds and held out the items.  Damian attached the cape to the borrowed shirt, then said, “Close your eyes.  I’m going to touch your face, so don’t get scared.”

Jon closed his eyes, and only flinched a little bit when Damian attached the mask.

“Keep your eyes closed,” Damian said as he turned the younger boy to face the mirror.  “Say your list again, but this time, don’t say you.  Say I.  Open your eyes.  You need to say I, because you are not Jon.  You are not Superboy.  You are Robin.”

Jon gasped as he saw himself in the mirror, then said, “I’m rude, stuck up, conceited.  I’m too good for this.  This is a waste of my time…what?”

Jon was eyeing Damian’s growing smile.  Jon wouldn’t realize it until later, but with every word in his recitation, his voice migrated closer to Damian’s tone.

“This might just work,” Damian said.  “Try this: Mercury, stop messing around.”

“Mercury, stop messing around,” the youth said.

Damian’s smile grew.  _Getting closer._   “Beast Boy, pay attention!”

Jon snapped, “Beast Boy, pay attention!”

 _Almost there._   “Grayson, you idiot.”

“Grayson, you idiot.”

 _Bingo!_   Damian clapped his hands onto Jon’s shoulders, “Congratulations, Jon.  You’re me.  Your Father was right.  Your muscle control is going to make this possible.  Let’s give this a road test.  What size shoes do you wear?”

“A ten,” Jon said.

Just like that, Damian’s good mood crashed, “That won’t work.  I wear a nine.”

“It is far easier to obtain your boots than it is other pieces of your wardrobe, Master Damian,” Alfred said, “I can have a pair of size ten boots here in a day or two.”

Damian nodded, “Okay, we’ll go without them for now.  Here’s what I want you to do.  Remember how you sounded and what you did when you said that last test phrase.  You’re going to stand in the door to the locker room, and in my voice, ask Father if we’re going to patrol tonight.  Try it out.”

Jon thought for a second, then said, “Dad, are we going out patrolling tonight?”

Damian shook his head, “No.  Father.  Always Father.  When he’s in uniform, it’s always Batman.  Out of uniform, it’s always Father.  Try it again.”

“Father, are we going to go out patrolling tonight?”

 _So close, but he’s got to shorten it up a bit._   “Close.  Use fewer words, and add a little impatience to your voice.”

Jon took a breath, “Father, are we patrolling tonight?”

Damian gave a proud smile, “Just like that.  Let’s give it a shot.”

Damian and Jon walked to the door of the locker room.  Damian hid while Jon called out, in his best Damian impersonation, “Father, are we patrolling tonight?”

Distractedly, Bruce called out, “Only if we receive a call, Damian.”

Damian walked out of his hiding spot, patted Jon’s shoulder, and the boys walked over to the adults.  Both Clark and Bruce did a double take at the boys, and Damian said, “I retract my previous dissent.  If he can fool you, this will work.”

_Later…_

Jon and Damian were laying in the dark, staring up at the ceiling over Damian’s bed.  They both knew the other was awake, but neither one mentioned anything yet.

It had actually taken longer to get Jon out of Robin’s shirt than it had taken to get him into it.  Once it was safely removed, Alfred had set to work altering the garment.  Under the guise of learning Damian’s mannerisms and practicing his voice, Jon had been able to talk his way into spending the night.  Instead of Jon’s intended purpose, the boys instead spent the evening playing video games, and generally doing what young boys do when they get together as friends.

Damian felt the bed shake as Jon moved, and thought _here it comes_.

“Hey, are you still awake, Damian,” Jon asked softly.

Damian glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw that it was just past midnight.  “No, I’m asleep, and you should be, too.”

“I know,” Jon said, rolling to face his friend, “But this is going to be so cool.  We should see if I can fool the team sometime.”

Damian rolled his eyes, “You really think you can keep up an impersonation for an entire training session?”

“Sure,” Jon shrugged, “Why not?”

“Mimicry is hard to maintain,” Damian said, rolling to face Jon, “The idea is to be able to bluff your way out of a situation, not to sit down and have a conversation as me.  The more you say, the harder it is to keep everything straight.”

Jon sighed, “I swear, Damian, I’m taking this seriously.”

Damian closed his eyes for a second, “I know you are, Jon.  It’s just…this is really important, and I guess I’m nervous.  I want you to know, if anything goes wrong, it’s not your fault.  No one will blame you if this doesn’t work.”

“Are you sure,” Jon asked, not quite believing his friend, “Are you sure you won’t blame me?”

“If I blame anyone, I’ll blame Dick.  We only have to do this because he doesn’t want to have a difficult conversation.”

“Okay,” Jon said quietly.

Damian took a breath, “Let’s get some sleep.  We can work more on your voice tomorrow, and you can play with the Switch again.”

“That thing’s fun,” Jon said with a growing smile.

“Only four more months until your birthday,” Damian said, “If you still want one in February, you might just get one.”

Damian had spoken to Clark about the potential gift while Jon was washing the gel out of his hair, and learned that Clark and Lois were getting Jon a Nintendo Switch for Christmas.  Damian decided he would keep up the ruse of the gift coming at the youth’s birthday in February, instead of December, and settle for getting Jon a couple games instead.

“Sounds like a plan,” Jon said with a yawn.

The younger boy was asleep within five minutes of closing his eyes.

_Two Weeks Later (Party Night)…_

With double preparations, things were hectic around the manor during the two weeks leading up to Dick and Barbara’s engagement party.  Alfred spent almost two days altering Robin’s tunic for Jon’s use.  While altering the one, and with Damian’s mention of his other tunics being too tight, Alfred spent some extra time altering Damian’s five other uniform shirts.  They would still be a little tight on Jon, but he could now get into and out of them on his own, and they would last Damian several more months, allowing Alfred to take his time in acquiring new materials.

Life interfered with preparations, like always.  With both boys having school, they relegated their voice training time to phone conversations.  In order to keep Lois happy, Damian had Jon read his homework to him over the phone in Damian’s voice.  Damian then provided hints and tips to make the altered voice sound more natural.  He also helped with the occasional homework question.  However, to get in a little jab every now and then, when Damian helped Jon with a question that the younger boy didn’t understand, Damian would change his voice to an impersonation of Jon.

When he wasn’t taking his own classes, doing his own homework, or training Jon, Damian helped Alfred to spruce up Stately Wayne Manor.  There wasn’t really a lot that needed to be done to get the house ready for the party, but Alfred appreciated the help.

Finally, two hours before the first guests were set to arrive, Bruce and Damian were in the cave, giving final instructions to Clark and Jon.

Damian was styling Jon’s hair to look more like his own as they spoke.  “I don’t see why you can’t comb your own hair, Jon,” Damian said.

The younger boy had gotten his hair trimmed before coming over.  It wasn’t as short as Damian’s hair, but it was closer.

“I don’t normally do this to my hair, Damian.  I wouldn’t have gotten it right.”

Bruce shook his head at the boy’s conversation and asked Clark, “You have everything you need, right?”

Clark nodded, “Yeah, we’ll be fine.  You said no one would be calling on the Bat Phone, so we will be watching the feeds.”

Jon looked past Damian and asked, “Why won’t anyone be calling?”

“The only phone that can call in to the Bat Phone is in Commissioner Gordon’s office,” Bruce said, “Since Commissioner Gordon will be here, there should be no one else out there with access to the phone.”

Clark looked over, “Should we do some sort of patrol, just to be seen around town?”

Damian looked up at his Father, “Might not be a bad idea, Father.”

Bruce nodded, “You’re right, it might not be a bad idea.  Have Jon text Damian if you’re going to be out.  You are still on the approved access list for the cave and the car, Clark.”  Bruce turned to Damian, “That reminds me.  Damian, did you…”

Damian nodded, interrupting his father, “I added Jon to the approved list.  He wouldn’t be able to use my utility belt safely without it.”

Bruce nodded, then smiled, trying to get himself into a society party mood, “That’s right.  Way to think ahead.  We should get upstairs, Damian.  I’ll have Alfred save some food for you two, Clark.”

Bruce started to walk away, but Damian approached Jon, “Remember, you are Robin.  That means no powers.  Robin is strong, but he doesn’t have super strength.  Robin can only fly when he is swinging from a Bat Rope.  Oh, and please don’t shoot eye lasers through my mask.”

Jon adopted a smirk he had been practicing and altered his voice to be an exact copy of Damian’s tone, “Don’t worry, I got this.  I’m Robin.”

Damian smiled, then looked up at Clark, “Kent, I apologize.  I think we created a monster.”

“How can you say that,” Clark asked.

Damian smirked and said, “Because I’m a monster, and he’s doing a damn good job imitating me.”

On the house side of the grandfather clock, Bruce stopped and waited for Damian.  When the teen arrived in the hall and released a massive sigh, Bruce knew what his son was thinking.

“Don’t you trust your friend?”

“Of course, I do, Father,” Damian said, “I just want this night to be over.  You know how much I like society events.”

Bruce patted Damian’s back as they walked towards the sitting room, “I know, kiddo.  Just remember, we’re here for Dick and Barbara.”

Damian rolled his eyes, “And the eventual socialites asking when I’m going to get with one of their daughters or granddaughters.”

Bruce laughed, “You have an excuse.  News of you and Robin is out there.  It’s been known in the society set for a while that you are currently dating someone.  Jason and Tim, on the other hand, need to watch their backs.”

Damian smirked as he watched Tim walk down the stairs, “This might be fun, after all.”

The front door opened, and Dick pushed Barbara into the manor.  Both smiled as they saw Bruce and his mini-me standing in the entryway.

Dick only barely held his laugh when he said, “Is Alfred buying suits in bulk again?”

Both Bruce and Damian gave a long-suffering sigh as they looked each other over and quickly came to the conclusion that Alfred had set out the same suit for both of them.  They were both amazed that they hadn’t noticed before Dick pointed it out.

Barbara giggled and said, “He obviously got three.”

Everyone watched Tim as he approached, clad in a suit identical to the ones Bruce and Damian were wearing.  Unlike the Wayne men, Tim noticed immediately as he approached the gathering.

“Hey, we all got the same suit,” Tim said happily.

“You don’t feel like standing out tonight, Tim,” Bruce asked.

Tim smiled, “Unlike your other sons, I’ve never minded us matching.”

Dick cocked his head, “Hey!  It doesn’t bother me, either, and I’ve been doing it a lot longer than you have.”

“It’s not a competition, honey,” Barbara said.

Tim turned to Damian and asked with a wink, “Okay, what’s your excuse, D?”

Damian shrugged, “This is how Alfred wanted us to look tonight.  He must have had his reasons for choosing this particular suit for all of us.  Do _you_ want to be the one to question Alfred’s judgement?”

Barbara smiled up at Tim, “He got you there.”

Alfred approached the conversing family, “Ah, I see we are just missing one occupant.  Has anyone checked on Master Jason?”

“I’ll do it,” Bruce said, heading for the stairs, “Might as well give him the matching suit warning now, before the guests arrive.”

Bruce walked away, and Alfred turned to the two youngest men, “Master Timothy, Master Damian, there are serving trays on the kitchen island.  Would you please take them to the serving tables in the ballroom?”

“Sure, Alfred,” Tim said.  Damian followed after his older brother.

Dick smiled as Alfred turned to look at the engaged couple, “You could have just asked for a minute alone with us, Alfred.  You didn’t have to invent chores to give everyone a reason to leave.”

“I knew you would catch on to that,” Alfred said with a smile, “I just wanted to express how proud I am of both of you, and how happy I am for you.  It is long overdue that the two of you are finally choosing to settle down.”

Dick walked forward and embraced the butler, “Knowing this makes you this happy makes me wish we could have done this years ago.  My only regret is that you are sticking to your butler role for the night.  I hoped you would join the party with the rest of us.  You have just as much to celebrate as we do tonight.”

“Just hearing you make that offer is enough for me, Master Dick,” Alfred said as Dick let him go, “Have you two set a date yet?”

Barbara shook her head, “That’s all going to depend on what and when we decide to tell Dad.  We can’t set a date until we know how he’s going to take the truth.”

Alfred nodded, “I take it you have made no headway on that conversation?”

Dick sighed, “Only that the conversation needs to take place.  The content and timing of the conversation is still up in the air.”

“I see,” the butler said, “Perhaps the easy way is the best one in this case?”

Dick sighed, “Damian keeps saying that, too.  If I didn’t know better, I would think he actually wants our identities to get out.”

“It would make things easier between the family and the Commissioner,” Alfred said.

“And more difficult,” Dick pointed out.  “No matter how well the conversation goes, our families have been intertwined in one way or another for decades.  He’s going to take it badly.”

Barbara sighed, “I’m not looking forward to that.  I’ve always hated lying to Daddy.”

Alfred nodded, “Well, it is something to think about and discuss at a later time.  Your guests will arrive shortly, and the only thing on either of your minds today should be each other.  This is a party to celebrate the two of you.  Please, try to enjoy yourselves.”

Damian walked back up to the engaged couple, not quite hiding the crumbs from Alfred as he wiped them from his cheek.  Damian had taken the liberty to taste test several of the selections on hand as he and Tim carried the food trays from the kitchen to the dining room.

The glare aimed at the teen only held the slightest reproach as Alfred walked away.  Damian blushed a bit anyway before asking Dick and Barbara, “Who did you invite to this thing, anyway?  It’s not like you could invite your actual friends today.”

Dick and Barbara smiled at each other, “We got away with inviting a few of them.  A couple of yours, too.  We also invited my coworkers, Barbara’s coworkers, and a small selection of Gotham’s elite.  Just the ones who really pushed to hook me up with one of their kids over the years.  We thought we would rub it in.”

Damian grew a smirk, “Let me know when you are going to mingle with them.  I want to get some pictures of the looks.  Which of my friends did you invite?”

Dick patted Damian’s shoulder as he pushed Barbara’s chair in the direction of the ballroom.  “Wally’s been my best friend since before I ever met Barbara.  There’s no way we could have a party like this without my best man.  He’s bringing Linda and the kids.  Don’t worry, they’ve been instructed that this is a purely civilian event.  You might have to spend some time with them, to keep an eye on their actions.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Damian said, then sighed, “Too bad you couldn’t have built up the nerve to ask Barbara to marry you a couple months ago, when Robin was still here.  She’s still not happy with you, Dick.  She wanted to see you propose.”

Dick looked down at Barbara, who said, “We didn’t think her parents would let her come out for the party.  However, whenever the wedding actually takes place, the Abbey’s are on the guest list.  Dick’s told me just how much you like dancing.”

“I _don’t_ like dancing,” Damian said shortly, before growing a far-off look, “but I love dancing with Robin.”

Dick snorted a laugh, “You took four months of secret dance lessons with Alfred just to try to impress Robin.  You dance with her every chance you get.”

“Besides,” Barbara said with a smile, “I hear you’re really good at it.”

Damian smirked at his older brother, “You can be good at something without liking it.  Dancing is just another way we can be together without people bothering us.  If we just sat on the couch and cuddled, people would interrupt our time together.  When we’re dancing, people leave us alone until the music stops.  I don’t like being bothered when I’m with Robin.”

Dick looked down at Barbara again and asked, “Now, why did we never think of that?”

“Because we weren’t in love when we were their ages,” Barbara replied.

“Maybe you weren’t,” Dick said, almost under his breath.

“Do you want me to go downstairs and wait for West,” Damian asked.

Dick shook his head, “Keeping up appearances, remember?  They are flying in.  Their plane will have already landed, and they should be here in an hour or so.  I told them black tie, so hopefully Wally planned ahead.”

The doorbell rang, and nervous expressions found their way onto Dick and Barbara’s faces.  “That’s probably Mom and Dad,” Barbara said, “Let’s go say hi.”

_Later…_

“So, then I said, that’s not our new sofa, that’s the Prime Minister’s wife!”

Polite laughter sounded after the lame excuse for a society joke.  Inside, Bruce was cringing.  _What the hell was I thinking, inviting the Von Monroe’s?_

Jason nudged Bruce, slipping a fresh whiskey into the older man’s hand.  Jason asked softly, “What the hell were you thinking, inviting the Von Monroe’s?”

Bruce whispered in Jason’s ear, “They wanted to hook their daughter up with Dick for a while, before they set their sights on you.  They’re still holding out hope that you will come around and take an interest in Aristella.”

Jason shivered at the sound of the name.  The woman in question was trying to get Jason’s attention from across the room.  “I don’t think so.  There is not enough alcohol in the cellar to make that a good idea.”

“I don’t know,” Bruce said, “She seems fairly attracted to you.  She’s not unattractive.”

“I would rather date the Squirt’s cow,” Jason declared, “At least then I wouldn’t have to listen to her voice.  How can a woman who weighs more than I do have such a high-pitched, grating voice?”

 _He’s got a point_.  “I didn’t say she was perfect.  She’s just…”

“She’s just what, Bruce,” Jason asked.

Bruce was at a loss for words, so he just shrugged.  Jason shook his head, “That’s what I thought.”

Jim Gordon walked up to Bruce and Jason.  Jason had to keep his natural wariness of police in check to not give anything away.

“Bruce, this is a…a nice party,” Jim said.

Bruce smiled at the man, “These people aren’t invited to the wedding, Jim.  Don’t worry about that.”

Jim internally wiped his brow, “Speaking of that, have you heard if the kids have set a date yet?”

Bruce shook his head, “They’re still looking.  At least, that’s what they said earlier tonight.  Jim, you don’t have to try to be polite to me about these people.  The Society Crowd isn’t for everyone.”

“If you say so, Bruce,” Jim said before leaning closer to Bruce’s ear, “If that’s the case, then why were they invited tonight?”

Bruce whispered, just as softly, “The members of the society set that are here tonight were all invited because they have, in the past, tried to hook Dick up with either a daughter or granddaughter, and in one case, a son.”

“I’m not sure I follow you, Bruce,” Jim said, following after the man as Bruce headed for the serving tables for a bite to eat.

Bruce gave an evil smile, “It’s just my little way of setting in a dig.  We’re rubbing it in that Dick is not marrying any of their children or heirs, even though they tried for years to convince us that he had to marry one of them for status.  Dick is marrying for love, and I couldn’t be happier about how it’s going to turn out.”

Jim laughed loudly at the information, and Bruce joined in with him.  They caught the attention of the room with their mood.  Bruce decided to take the time to complete one of his hosting duties, since he seemed to have the attention of the whole room.

“Everyone, thank you for coming today to celebrate the engagement of Dick and Barbara.  Any of you that know these two will know that this has been a long time coming.  I’m just glad Dick finally decided to make official what everyone has known for years.  Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon belong together.  If you will all lift your glasses in a toast.  To the happy couple, with wishes for a long and happy life.  I’m so proud of you, my son, and now, my daughter.”

Polite, expected applause followed the toast, and Bruce quickly turned to Jim, “You don’t have to say anything, Jim.”

“Thank god,” Jim said quietly, “I hate having to make off-the-cuff speeches.  However, I like the way you worked those jabs in.”

Bruce’s smile grew, “You noticed them?  Good.”

“A bit on the nose, don’t you think, Bruce?”

Bruce and Jim turned to find Lucius Fox standing behind them.  “That was my intention, Lucius.  I’m sure you’ve met Jim Gordon before.”

Lucius smiled and shook Jim’s hand, “A couple times, actually.  Congratulations, Jim.  Is it okay if I call the Police Commissioner by his first name?”

Jim nodded, “I’m off-duty today.  Your face looks so familiar, but your name isn’t coming to me.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lucius said, “I’m Lucius Fox, CFO of Wayne Enterprises.  We’ve met at a couple city functions before.  Actually, we met close to thirty or thirty-five years ago.”

Jim shook his head, “You’ll have to refresh my memory.”

Lucius’ smile grew, “You gave me a speeding ticket once, long before you were made Commissioner.  Don’t worry, I don’t hold a grudge.”

“You remember something like that,” Jim asked, astonished.

Lucius nodded, “The first and only traffic ticket I’ve ever had?  Of course, I remember it.  Since it seems like you don’t, I’ll at least tell you that you were the model of efficiency and politeness during the whole incident.”

Jim smiled, “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“Where’s the happy couple,” Lucius asked, “I’ve been here for almost two hours and I haven’t seen them.”

Bruce and Jim looked around for a minute before Jim said, “Ah, there they are,” and pointed towards the door of the ballroom, where Dick was pushing Barbara’s chair into the space.

“Where do you think they were,” Lucius asked.

Bruce shook his head, “I don’t know, but come to think of it, there are several other people that I know are here that I don’t see.”

“It’s a big house, Bruce,” Jim said, “Want me to get a couple officers out here to perform a sweep?  People could go wandering off and be lost in here for days.”

“That’s okay, Jim,” Bruce said, “We have the sections of the house we don’t want people accessing blocked off.  Anyway, I wasn’t really talking guests.  I was thinking more in terms of sons.  I seem to be missing two, along with Dick’s friend’s kids.”

“They must be the smart ones,” Jim said, nudging Bruce lightly, “They must have cut out when no one was looking.”

Bruce nodded, then eyed Dick and Barbara again as they spoke to a small group of their coworkers, “Do you think they even heard my toast?”

_Later Still…_

“Would you care to explain what you’ve been doing?”

Damian nearly jumped out of his shoes as he walked back into the ballroom.  The party had begun winding down, but nearly all of the party guests still remained.  Damian, Tim, Irey, and Jai had been conspicuously missing for most of the party.

Turning to find his father standing just inside the ballroom door, Damian said quietly, “My job.  You assigned me two tasks today.  The second one has taken more time than I thought it would.”

Before the party, Bruce had asked Damian to do two things during the party.  First, he was to observe the Commissioner, to provide updates to the Batman and Robin replacements for the evening.  Second, he was to keep a close watch over Jai and Irey, who were both attending their first society function tonight, and had no idea how to act in high society.

Bruce eyed his youngest and asked quietly, “Did something happen?”

Damian nodded, “Early on, the twins started getting some tough questions from some of the society members.  They were either looking for dirt on us or for ways to get a suitable spouse for one of their children or grandchildren.  The twins held their own for a few minutes, but it was too much for them.  You would have been proud of the way they handled the questions, but they were in over their heads.  Tim and I snuck them out as soon as we could.”

Bruce sighed slowly, “How bad was the grilling?”

“Old Lady Axelay made Irey cry,” Damian said softly, “She held off until I got her out of the ballroom, but she was sobbing by the time we got to the library.”

“That bitch,” Bruce growled.  “She’s always been a snob, and she was one of the worst in trying to push her daughter onto Dick.”

Damian matched the growl, “She asked if Jai and Irey were the children of the servants, and told them to get her food.  Then, she made remarks about her hair and appearance, and how she could tell that West’s kids were lower class and shouldn’t be at the party.”

“What did the kids do to bring that on,” Bruce asked incredulously.

Damian shook his head, “They dared to breathe the same air, apparently.  I didn’t see them do anything else.”

Damian glanced around the room and caught the eye of Commissioner Gordon.  He pretended like his phone was vibrating in his pocket, pulled it out, and sent a short text to Robin. 

Bruce glanced at the phone, “Task number one?”

Damian nodded, “Keeping up appearances.”

Dick walked up to the teen and said, “Damian, come on.  Every time I have seen you tonight, you’re on your phone.  I want you here for the party.  You can give Robin a play-by-play tomorrow.”

Damian looked up at Bruce and asked, “Didn’t you go over this with him?”

“Must have slipped my mind,” Bruce said, walking away.

Damian leaned closer to Dick and said, “You said earlier that West and his family flying in was to keep up appearances.  So is me on the phone.”

Dick looked confused, “Whose benefit are you doing that for?”

“The Commissioner’s,” Damian whispered.

“How does texting Robin do that?”

“I’m not only texting Robin,” Damian said, “I’m also texting Jon.  We are giving each other updates throughout the night.  He’s letting me know if they get called to anything big, and I’m letting him know if Commissioner Gordon gets any emergency calls while he’s here.”

Dick thought for a second, “So, if the Commissioner gets a call and has to leave, it won’t look out of place if you happen to be sending a text when he walks out the door.  Not bad.  Was that your idea?”

Damian shook his head, “No.  It was a combination idea from Father and Kent.”

“How are you supposed to keep an eye on Jim when you’ve spent most of the party not in the party,” Dick asked quietly.

“My second task of the evening,” Damian said, just as quietly, “Notice anyone else not in the party?”

Dick looked around, then shook his head, “No.  Who am I missing?”

“The twins,” Damian said, “I’ll tell you about it later, but needless to say, if you ever invite them to another society function, you will probably lose your best friend.”

Dick gasped, “What did they do?”

Damian looked up, barely controlling his anger at the situation, “Not a damn thing.  It’s the way they were treated by the snobs.  If this wasn’t your party, and we weren’t trying to keep everything out of the papers, there’d be some serious shit going down right now.  Tim and I took the twins out for their own good.”

“What do you mean, took them out?”

“Of the room,” Damian said, rolling his eyes.

Dick patted Damian’s shoulder, “Okay, calm down.  I get it.  We’ll talk about it later.  Do you remember what I asked if you would be willing to do tonight?  That thing I asked you about last week?”

“Yeah,” Damian said.

“Do you think you could do it now,” Dick asked hopefully, “I know that will help calm you down, and I want to surprise Barbara.”

Damian took a breath and nodded, “Sure.  Are you sure you want to do this?”

Dick winked, “I’m the only one in the family who can.”

Dick walked off to collect Barbara while Damian approached the string quartet.  After their latest selection ended, Damian signaled for them to not start their next song.

“Take five, guys.  We’ve got a special request.”

“What is it,” the violinist asked, “we’ll see if we know it.”

Damian shook his head, “The request is that you stop playing for the next couple minutes.  The groom-to-be and I worked out something special for the bride-to-be.  It just requires a piano.”

“We’re a string quartet.  We don’t have a piano player.”

Damian smirked, “I think I can handle it.”

Damian walked up to the piano and sat down on the bench.  He played a couple notes, then tried a couple chords.  Slowly, he got the attention of the ballroom.  Damian heard several of the more entitled socialites asking among themselves why Damian was disrupting the party.  Dick had rolled Barbara over closer to the piano, and she was followed by Jim and Barbara.  Damian got up, handed a microphone to Dick, sat back at the piano, and started playing.  He was very happy to see the socialites shut their mouths as he played masterfully.

“ _You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss.  A sigh is just a sigh.  The fundamental things apply, as time goes by,”_ Dick sang to his fiancé as the guests ‘aww’-ed at the gesture.

Damian smiled at the annoyed looks on the faces of several socialites.  Dick was the only one in the family who could carry a tune, and no one could deny the look of love and adoration he sent to Barbara as he crooned out the old standard.

As Dick ended his rendition of the old classic, Damian’s cell phone vibrated in his pocket.  He ignored the text message as he tapped out the last few notes in Dick’s serenade, but paid rapt attention when Jim Gordon reached for his cell phone.  The off-duty Police Commissioner walked out of the ballroom with his phone pressed to his ear.

Fortunately, Bruce saw the man leave the room, and followed.  Bruce practiced a level of eavesdropping that his soon to be in-law didn’t know he was capable of, and heard one side of the conversation.

“This isn’t a good time, Lieutenant…Yes, I know I told everyone I wanted to be notified of large crimes, even if I’m off duty…Wait, what happened…Prostitution ring, huh?  What resources do you need?  We can get stuff over there…You got them?  How?...Batman and Robin, huh?  How did they get involved?...Chasing a kidnapper led to a major score.  That’s incredible, Lieutenant…Tell me, were Batman and Robin still on scene when you got there?...They’re still there?...No, it’s nothing.  Tell them I appreciate what they did tonight…No, I’m not coming.  Like I told you, this isn’t a good time…Right, the party for Barbara…I’ll look for your report when I go in on Monday…Goodbye, Lieutenant.”

Bruce hid his smile as Jim put his phone away, then made a show of running into Jim as the man was walking back into the ballroom.  “Oh, sorry about that, Jim.  I was just heading for the restroom.  Is everything okay?”

Jim eyed Bruce for a long second before replying, “Just an update from one of my officers.  Seems Batman and Robin took a bite out of crime tonight.”

“Oh,” Bruce asked, “You don’t have to leave, do you?”

Jim shook his head, “No.  It seems everything is under control.  Nothing I need to interrupt the kid’s party for.”

Bruce gave a soft smile, “Good.  Alfred made a cake, which should be coming out soon.  I don’t think you’ve had any of Alfred’s baked goods yet, have you?”

“I don’t think I have,” Jim said.

“You’re in for a treat,” Bruce said, walking around the man, “I’ll be back in a minute.  Maybe you can talk Dick and Damian into another song while I’m gone.”

“I’ll give it a shot,” Jim said, walking back into the ballroom, “Those are two talented sons you have.”

_Later…_

The party ended just before midnight, and the first thing Bruce did, after taking his tie off and heaving a massive sigh, was seek out Damian.  He found his son in the game room, with Jai and Irey.

“Damian…Sorry, you two.  Are you doing okay?”

Irey looked up and gave a small smile, “Much better, now that the party is over.  Why were those people so mean?”

Bruce sighed, “They just think they’re better than everyone else.  They’re not.”

“Why did you even invite those people, if they’re just going to be like that,” Jai asked, before blushing in embarrassment at his question.

Bruce smiled and sat down on the couch next to the twins, “Let me tell you a little secret about tonight.  You see, society people tend to think that the only other people in the world that are worth anything are other society people.  Dick was raised in a traveling circus, and I caught a lot of flack when I took him in.  However, as time passed, Dick grew into someone that the society set thought they could use to advance their own agendas and standing in society.  They hoped he would marry one of their daughters or granddaughters.  The ones we invited tonight were the ones who pushed the hardest over the years for Dick to marry one of their family members.  They were here tonight so we could rub it in that Dick is marrying for love, not for their status.”

Irey and Jai laughed at the explanation, feeling better that these weren’t Bruce’s actual friends.

Bruce turned to Damian and asked, “Why didn’t you let me know about what Clark and Jon were doing, Damian?”

Damian gave a look that was halfway between a smirk and a grimace, “Because Jon didn’t tell me until they were already done.  I was in the middle of Dick’s song when he texted me.  I couldn’t exactly drop everything to look at his text.  Commissioner Gordon got his call less than thirty seconds after I got Jon’s text.  Did you listen in on that?”

Bruce nodded, “Batman and Robin were still at the scene of the crime when Jim was notified.  He had just left a room where I was standing next to him, and you were playing the piano.  I think we’ve gone a long way in convincing him that we aren’t who we are.”

“Good,” Damian said, trying to hide his yawn, “Jon texted me a couple minutes ago.  They should be home soon.”

“All right.  Do you want to go down and meet them, or are you going up to bed?”

Jai yawned, “We’re going up to bed.”

Damian smiled, “I’ll get them settled upstairs, then come down and make sure he didn’t destroy my uniform.”

_Downstairs…_

When Damian reached the cave, Bruce and Clark were already talking at the computer.  Jon was just coming out of the locker room, and diverted his path to meet up with Damian.

“How did the party go,” Jon asked.

Damian shook his head, “I really wish we could have found a way for you to double me, instead of doubling Robin.  It turned into a society party, and I hate those.”

Jon had never been to a society party, so he didn’t quite know how bad it could be.  “A party’s a party, right?”

“Oh, no,” Damian said, “Just ask Irey and Jai what it was like, the next time you see them.”

Jon cocked his head to the side, “Jai and Irey were invited to the party?”

Damian nodded, “West has apparently agreed to be Dick’s best man at the wedding, whenever that is.  West was invited, and brought the family.  They…didn’t enjoy themselves.  Not at first, at least.”

The boys approached the men in time for Bruce to ask, “Why didn’t you let us know you were going after something big?”

Clark shook his head, “It all happened so fast.  We honestly thought we were chasing kidnappers.  We had no idea it was a prostitution ring until we were in the middle of it.  You got Jon’s message afterwards, right?”

Damian nodded, “At the same time that Commissioner Gordon got called about it.”

“I think we’re in the clear for a while,” Bruce said, “Jim seemed almost disappointed when his officer told him that you two were still at the crime scene, when he had just left a room where he knew for a fact that me and my sons were.  I can’t think of any other upcoming events that we will need your intervention for, but I will let you know.  Is there anything we need to know about what happened out there tonight?”

“I made a full report of everything we did,” Clark said, “It’s on the computer under today’s date.  If you don’t need us for anything else, Jon already fell asleep once, in the car on the way back here.  I’d like to get him home before he falls asleep again.”

“You don’t want to stay over, Clark,” Bruce asked, “It’s late.  We can find another guest room.”

Jon turned a pair of the saddest eyes Clark had seen in a long time to stare at his father, “Aww, can’t we stay, Dad?  Mr. Wayne promised they would save some food for us.”

Clark eyed Bruce with a growing smile, “Alfred would be upset if he made a plate for us and we left, without even saying good night.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, knowing that the thought of Alfred’s food was a bigger draw for the Kent men than the offer of a night at Stately Wayne Manor.

Bruce turned to head for the stairs, “Upsetting Alfred can be a costly and long-lasting mistake.  Let’s make sure he’s happy.”

 

**A/N:  Well, hopefully this solves the open-ended question I left at the end of my last story.  I hope you like how that was handled.  I do.**

**And, at the same time, I don’t.  You see, this isn’t the story I wanted to write.  I wanted Gordon to find out that Bruce is Batman and the boys are who they are.  Unfortunately, I planned too far ahead.**

**Anyone who has looked at my timeline recently will know that I have many unpublished stories listed.  However, just because they are unpublished doesn’t mean they are unwritten.  I try to publish my stories in as close to chronological order as possible, but I don’t write them in chronological order.  Not counting this story, I have a dozen titles listed that happen after this story, that haven’t been published.  Four of them are already completely written, and a fifth is nearing completion, and all of them either mention or show that Commissioner Gordon doesn’t know Batman’s identity.  So, instead of rewriting four completed fics, I instead came up with this idea, to get me out of the jam I wrote myself into.**

**So, if everyone can just look past the fact that this entire story is twelve thousand words of CYA, I would be greatly appreciative.  Let me know if this story satisfies the conclusion people were looking for.**

**Thanks for playing along.**


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